I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
