Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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