is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
