i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
