I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
