...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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