i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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