I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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