marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
