the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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