Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
3 2 1 whiskey
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize