If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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