I CAN MOONWALK!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How does it feel to date your dad?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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