i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
