I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
