He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
