there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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