if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
