I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
