and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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