He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
