I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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