Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
