Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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