Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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