Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
