Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
