this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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