Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize