i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
