its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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