do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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