I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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