I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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