Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
