If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She needs sedatives and a leash
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
