had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
