i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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