i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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