bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
