from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
