I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i will never coherently bang her
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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