yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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