There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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