Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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