I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
