the new term for farting is butt boxing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
