I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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