I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
