I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
