and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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