I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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