Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
