We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
