Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
