well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
