fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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