There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
