I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
