On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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