I want to make a zoo with you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
