I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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