just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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