I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
