That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
