i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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