There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize